T: Alright, one minute to group-share and to get ready to report out.
T: Are you guys telepathic?
Cody, F. '23: What does that mean?
T: It means you can talk to each other in your heads.
(Immediately, four pairs of boys stare at each other intensely and try to speak telepathically.)
Teagan, M. '23: No, didn’t work.
Boys: Yeah, same here.
Cody, F. '23: So, does that mean we should actually talk then?
Christopher H., '23: Okay, Google, how did Edgar Allan Poe die?
Google Home: (provides evidence from Smithsonian website).
Toben H., '23: Hey! She just read the first hit on Google. That's unacceptable.
Garrett F., '23: Yeah, Google, everybody knows you have to dig deeper into the hits. Jeeze, get academic.
Chewy, '22: Mrs. Ervin, what are you thoughts on Syria?
Ryan S., '22: I just want to know how Trump got elected and why he might start WWIII.
Richie, '22: (without missing a beat, looking up, or stopping his writing work) Russia, bro.
While playing an Outsiders review game of Jeopardy:
Mrs. Ervin: The father figure of the greaser group.
John W., '22: Who is milk.
Mrs. Ervin: Wait, what?
John W., '22: You get it, Mrs. Ervin? The answer is milk... like Dairy. Darry--Dairy--Milk.
Mrs. Ervin: You get that one for the win.
Class: FOR THE WIN!!!!!
During a discussion on the difference between "synonym" and "cinnamon" an 8th grader bust out this gem.
I want a synonym roll, just like grammar used to make. (Ryan, '22)
Mrs. E: You have free range to pick any story, song, or text to explore in your theme analysis.
Kaden: Sharknado! Just you wait, Mrs. E, this is going to be the best theme analysis you've ever read.
Mrs. E: The context of "bad" is like the guy in the van with the candy, or bikes, or puppies.
Entire Class: FREE WIFI!
7th grade Boys: No, it’s the guy with the legendary Pokemon!
While Jodie, Teagan, and Mrs. E are sharing what sign language they know, Gigi makes the Batman Mask sign with her hands.
Gigi: Is this it? Does this count as sign language?
Summer: There needs to be a person on every set who has read the book, who walks around and smacks the director with the book every time they leave out an important part.
Gigi: I could totally do that job.
Ervin: It would have to be a hardback copy of the book.
Cameron: Here’s a hardback copy of my hand.
Jacqui: It’s 11:11 guys make a wish.
Mrs. E: I wish it was 11:12, I wish it was 11:12, I wish it was 11:12…
Brenna: 30 more seconds…
Summer: 15 more seconds…
Gigi: It’s 11:12!
Mrs. E: Wow it’s an amazing day! I had a wish come true!
MacKenzie: What flavor is it? Cherry vanilla?
Jodie: The Soul of Your Enemies.
Gigi: No, it's Pecaan flavored.
Summer: How do you say it, peCAN, peCON, or pecan?
Mrs. E: It depends on the region and dialect you’re using. Or if you just want to be fancy with an accent.
(Major discussion and debate ensues.)
Jodie: (5 minutes later) Wait! Guys, they’re not even pecans… they’re walnuts!
The Honors Language Arts class is currently engaged in a high-level debate (of their own making) on their loser's consequence if they lose rock-paper-scissors against the teacher. The students entered class with the proposition of playing rock-paper-scissors against the teacher because they wanted to watch "Boy in the Striped Pajamas" in class. The hilarious part of the situation is that the original class lesson was to watch the film anyway, they just didn't give me time to start the class. I have been waiting and listening to their debate for the last 10 minutes, and they are still engaged in a high-level debate and brainstorm to create an appropriate loser's consequences.
Kaden: We should have someone practice the battle so we know what our results might be. Mrs. E, are we allowed to practice?
Mrs. E: Of course. I encourage you to practice as many times as you need.
Christian: No! She is way to excited about us practicing. I bet she takes notes about what we pick each time so she wins. Bad idea, abort!
Han: (looks over with a finger puppet) “Look I made a puppet while we were debating.”
Summer: We laughed, we fought, we wrote a yearbook.
Mrs. E: Actually, that’s perfect. If you write that and add Gigi’s quote it is perfect.
Jodie: What, the one about the mermaids?
Working in education has it's challenges, but it is the face-palm moments that truly make everything worth it. These are the true tales from the classroom that we could not have scripted if we tried.